Well, it finally happened.
After years of resisting, I finally caved and joined 'The Dark Side.'
That's right, I could resist the temptress no longer and I got a cell phone.
I picked it up at the beginning of the summer family vacation and before I was even aware of its evil powers, the electro-crack had a grip on me.
The first couple of days it was a novelty. I added my wife and children's numbers to the contact list and then went about playing with all the different things it can do.
Goofy texts were sent to my family and we all chortled over dad's new toy, his extremely poor texting abilities and his continual asking of "How do I do this...How do I do that...How do I do this again..."
I am a multi-finger typer (kind of a job requirement actually), but I am a single-finger texter, and not the usual finger I use to relay a long-distance message with non-verbal communication.
I use the pointer finger, that's the one next to the driving finger.
I got one of those slide phones where the little screen slides up to reveal a very tiny keyboard. I know where all the letters are, but for some reason my Shrek-like thumbs keep hitting at least two or three keys at once, leading to a message something like, "Hji, wehjat r we jhabving for supopoer?"
By using just the pointer the mistakes are minimized. They are still there, but there are fewer of them.
Before letting the pocket-sized vixen into my life, I was determined to not let it rule my waking moments. Before I became a bona fide cellphone owner, I used to scoff at and mock people who could not go 30 seconds without looking at the contraption to see if they missed anything over the last half a minute.
When I decided it was time to get a phone, I swore I would be its master, and not a slave to the glowing box.
I soon realized just how quickly one gives up to the demands of the digital mistress.
I had the phone about a week and was in an area without coverage.
"No problem," said I when I realized I could not send or receive anything. "I have only had it a week, and I survived for years without one, how tough can it be to go a couple of hours without getting or sending a text?"
Besides, it was a family vacation and my family was hiking down the same trail I was.
I was fine, until we got back into range and when I noticed someone else using their phone I dug mine out and with an anticipation just slightly less than the morning of Dec. 25, I checked to see if I had any messages.
It took a whole week for me to become addicted to the stupid thing. I am hoping it will be a novelty and wear off, but I...excuse me for a second.
Sorry about that. I thought I heard the sound of my phone vibrating, turns out it was just a bug flying by. Anyway, like I was saying, the obsessive compulsive desire to constantly check the phone will surely pass and I will use the device on the rare occasion that I...oops, hold on one more second.
Stupid buzzing bugs.
Soon after I got the phone, another problem developed when I was struck by a case of contact envy.
You see, I only had three contacts in my list, while other people had dozens.
This would not do. How could people get a hold of me without my number, not that I really cared mind you because I am not obsessed with my phone, but still we better exchange numbers in case there is an emergency or something.
I now have almost a dozen names in my contact list, but that is not nearly enough, or at least it wouldn't be if I cared that is.
So, if there is anyone out there who would like to give me a call, or send me a text you can do so at 250-867-5309.
Talk to ya soon.