Where would the world be without dogs?
They are man’s best friend, loyal
companion and are great at cleaning up food dropped on the floor.
I never truly appreciated that last
quality until I had my first kid.
Junior spent more time throwing food on
the floor than he did throwing it in his mouth – much to the delight of our two
hounds.
The dogs were a little put out when we
first brought this squawky little thing home, but once he was old enough to eat
from a high chair all was forgiven. In fact, the mutts pretty much lived under
his high chair.
Problem was, once Junior got old enough
to interact with the dogs he discovered that if he dropped something they would
pounce on it and soon it became a game.
He would be flinging grub around the
kitchen like he was in a food fight and the dogs were lovin’ every minute of
it.
Dogs are also good at barking their
heads off when a hoard of bad guys are at the gate and about to invade your
home, or if someone walks by, or they hear something, or they think they hear
something.
A vacuum and alarm system all rolled into
one – who could ask for anything more.
Actually I could ask for a few less
things – such as a dog’s ability and willingness to eat really disgusting
things.
A friend of mine was thoroughly repulsed
when he noticed his then three-month-old hound chowing down on a nice big pile
of deer droppings.
He literally had to pull the beast away
from the stack of mouth-watering morsels and the closer he got to the mutt, the
faster the pooch would eat.
I readily admit, I have never sampled
deer droppings, or any kind of droppings for that matter, so I cannot
definitively say they taste terrible, but I have also never smashed my kneecap
with a hammer and I am pretty sure that would hurt.
For some reason their dog finds stuff
like that very appealing. He is now 15 months old and still scrums down on
doo-doo every chance he gets.
I present you with reason No. 2 why I
never let a dog lick me – ever.
Why is that reason No. 2, because reason
No. 1 is equally as bad, but more common among our furry, four-legged friends.
Reason No. 1 is universal among canines.
While not all dogs eat poop, every dog I have had has eaten their own vomit.
Why? I don’t know. If a cat hacks
something up, they look around like ‘Someone better clean that up.’
If a dog yacks something up, they look
around like, “Hey, hey where did that tasty morsel come from? Don’t mind if I
do.”
And then they do.
Don’t blame me if you find the subject
gross. I don’t make them dine on dog upchuck, I am just saying they do it.
Dead things are also a popular entrée
for hounds – the deader the better.
My dog brought in half a dead mouse that
the cat killed and left outside in the middle of January. Murphy the Wonder Dog
thought the mouse-sicle was the greatest find ever.
He came bounding into the house with his
prize clamped firmly in his jaw and I literally had to chase him down to see
what it was. I finally got hold of him and he clamped down even harder.
It took a minute to figure out what it
was, but as I looked closer I noticed his ‘treasure’ was staring at me with a
buggy mouse eye.
I added that to the ever-growing list of
why I don’t let dogs lick me – as if poop and puke were not reason enough.
Man’s best friend – absolutely - a very
disgusting best friend, but a best friend nonetheless.
No comments:
Post a Comment