Poor Bruce may never be the same again.
You see, Bruce got his butt whooped the other day. The
big, lovable, eight-year-old Golden lab messed the wrong animal and paid the
price.
Bruce and the other dog see each other almost daily when
they are taken for a walk along a wooded path. On a typical day, Bruce is all
over the other hound with playful nudges and licking and sniffing – lots and
lots of sniffing.
But on this particular day, the other dog did not feel
like being mauled by the big, loveable brute and decided to take a stand.
As Bruce moved in for one of his patented ‘Hey man, I
love you’ sessions, Murphy the Wonder Dog had had enough, and with Ninja-like
skill and while channeling the power of The Incredible Hulk, he planted his two
front feet firmly into Bruce’s chest, sending the bounding beast bouncing down
the trail.
No really, he did. Murphy, who weighs in at a whopping 17
pounds, bested Bruce the full-grown Labrador
who weighs in at around 80 pounds.
When Murph the Surf planted his mighty paws on Big Bad
Bruce, Big Bad Bruce literally fell over. Poor Bruce had a pained expression on
his face as he got up. Everyone who witnessed the act had a look of shock and
disbelief on their faces.
Bruce’s owner said he deserved an Oscar for such a performance
as the one he put on that chilly morning. Bruce was not injured in the least,
but Murphy, meanwhile, was popping it. He was strutting like only a little dog
with a big attitude can.
For the rest of the walk, Murphy led the way with
confidence. After all, he did just lay a smacking on someone five times his
size.
The next time Bruce and the Murphy met, Bruce decided to
take a wide berth and not even give the little brown dog a courtesy sniff as
they passed. He literally walked on the other side of the trail.
Murphy meanwhile had a look of, ‘That’s right. You better
walk away big man. There is a lot more where that came from.’
Bruce wore the same hurt look on his face as he trotted
past, head hung low. Murphy was still popping it like he had thumped a pack of
wild hyenas.
I guess size matters, but it is not always the larger
size that rules the roost.
Take my wife for example. I am 6’4” tall and weigh around
250 pounds. My wife is five feet tall and weighs…do you really think I was to
print how much my wife weighs?
I may be dumb, but I am not that dumb. Let’s just say I am a lot bigger than she is.
I may be dumb, but I am not that dumb. Let’s just say I am a lot bigger than she is.
She is a tiny woman, but that doesn’t mean she is one to
trifled with. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, well you should try
pissing off my wife some day and see what that bring you.
She is a loving and amazing woman, a terrific mom and
wonderful friend, but she does have a bit of a fiery side to her.
Like I said, I am way bigger than she is and physically
there is no contest, but I would rather face a hoard of genetically mutated
bikers with bad breath and no deodorant than be on the receiving end of my
wife’s wrath.
It is not often I have seen that wrath lay waste to the
land around her, but it has happened.
And besides, that fire is one of the things that
attracted me to her in the first place.